Ambrosia Classifieds

Macintosh users are invited to submit classified ads for items wanted and items for sale. Please include all appropriate contact information with each ad. This is the first issue of Ambrosia’s newsletter so all ads included in this issue are fictional in nature.

Wanted: Used offshore oil drilling platform. Must be outside the national boundaries of all nations. Ambrosia is seeking a way around taxation and feels starting our own country is a good start.

For Sale: Pre-enjoyed office supplies. Your company must have a logo similar to Ambrosia’s. Call after hours, ask for John.

For Sale: Commodore 64, Disk drive and tape drive. Best offer. Museum inquiries welcome.

For Sale: Authentic Andrew Welch skivies. The Seat of Power can be yours. Best offer, as is, no refunds.

For Sale: B&W photo of Elvis at Bill Clinton’s inaugural ball. A bit fuzzy, but it’s the King.

For Sale: Carnivorous African Grey Parrot. Willing to sell for very small amount of money. Ideal for medical experiments or BBQ.

Wanted: Invisible fencing. Must be suitable for office environment. Top dollar paid for higher voltage models.

Wanted: Leg irons, four pair, and the hardware needed to anchor them to desks. Spanish steel preferred.

For Sale, Cheap: Harley Davidson motorcycle. Good condition, only wrecked once. Complete with training wheels. Call ahead to make sure Andrew is napping.